The Wings of Hope

Hello readers and welcome to Day Three of Blogmas! A little update on my health before we get this blog post started: I'm doing better! I bought a ton of different over the counter medications and products for my sinus infection, and, knock on wood, I think it's helping a lot! I can breathe through my nose again, however, I still sound stuffy. Fingers crossed I can get better as soon as possible.

For today's blog, I wanted to bring up a topic, or a subject, that's very dear and near to me: hope. So let me give you a little backstory. Ever since I was 14 years old, I created a character, or persona, of myself. This character never really had a name, but I saw her as me if I were in a fantasy world


I did have other drawings and doodles of my character, but a lot of them were meshed with Hamtaro-related stuff...we'll save that for another blog entry. So here's the earliest drawing of her I could find.

In my high school days, I formed this angel princess character to represent who I am personality wise and who I wanted to become. It wasn't until 12th grade, where I wrote a short story in my Creative Writing class, I gave a name to her: The Princess. I know, extremely clever and never heard of. Anyways, as I got older, I started adding more of a backstory and more of my life into her. The Princess is, obviously stated, a princess that has the power to heal and bring hope to people through the power of her hearts that she can summon out of her chest. In a nutshell, think of any MMORPG character that's a healer and looks super cute and looks like she came straight out of an anime; that's The Princess.

There's more to The Princess and her backstory, especially about love and pain, but I'll discuss that in a later blog. The reason why I discuss my character is because she was made from the idea of hope. The idea of hope is a powerful concept at best. When we lose everything, we still hold on to hope. We hold on to hope that life will get better, than the pain we suffer in will go away, that better days are coming; that's what hope is all about. Since the creation of The Princess, I've gone through so many heartbreaks (some worse than others), so many financial pains, so many fears, doubts, worries; but I still hold onto hope. 

I hold onto hope not because it's an escape, but because there has to be something better, some light at the end of the tunnel. With despair comes hope (any Danganronpa fans, yes I am totally talking about that here). When I think about hope, I think about how although certain parts of my life may not be going the way I planned it to be in my head or on paper, but something good is still coming out of it.

For any anime fans, if you've ever seen Puella Magi Madoka Magica, one of my favorite quotes from the anime is all about hope.

For any anime fans, if you've ever seen Puella Magi Madoka Magica, one of my favorite quotes from the anime is all about hope.

Hope can also be hard to talk about because I know some people may say, "well there's people here suffering, people here dying" and so one, and I know, it's awful. It's horrible seeing the things on TV that make you want to fall into despair. Why think about hope when there's things like cancer in this world or people being murdered? Well, maybe I'm naive, but I think we have hope because although terrible things are happening in our world, terrible things exist in our lives (whether it's abuse, loss, death, anything), we hold onto hope because we want a happy ending.

Going back to my character, The Princess goes through a lot of horrible, awful things in her world personally, however, her powers exist on hope, and she holds onto hope because even though she's gone through so much, she wants happiness, and with hope, she can find that happiness. That's how I see my own struggles. Hope may be a silly concept, but I hold on to hope because it's honestly what keeps me going on in life. Hope is the thing that makes me continue living. Hope makes me believe that even with all the things I've gone through that has made me question if I should continue living, there has to be a reason I'm on this Earth, so I will hold onto hope for dear life because I want to see that happy ending.

If you find hope nonexistent or silly, maybe this post will make you think otherwise. I know I'm just one person, but hope can, and will, make amazing things happen. So if you're struggling in life, wondering why you're still even alive, or wishing you were gone, please don't lose hope. There is a happy ending waiting for you, all you have to do is continue fighting, and don't ever lose hope. Even if the battle is long and painful, hope will prevail and bring you your happiness, just hang in there a little longer. I believe in you.

*Photo by Ron Smith on Unsplash