To The Ones that Shaped Me in 2018

Hello readers! Okay I know, before you ask, yes, I’ve been gone for a little over a month! With the holidays, mental health being a little off here and there, and work being busy, it’s been kind of hard making time for my blog. I’m hoping as we enter the new year, I plan to revamp my blog and really put it as a priority! To the ones who believe in me and stuck by me: thank you, I truly appreciate it. To make it up, you’ll be getting two blog posts from me! One being, well, this one, and another on the 31st, so get ready!

Now with this post, this has been something I’ve been wanting to type before 2018 ended. It’s an inspiration from that book “To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before” and Ariana Grande’s song, “thank u, next”. I just wanted to write, in a way, letters to people who have shaped me to be who I became in 2018. As I always state, everyone I talk about on here will have other names, I won’t hint where you can find them or their real names. With that all said, here are my letters!

To My Blogger Friends

Whether we still keep in touch, spoke for a week, a month, or a day, I want to truly thank you. Because of you all and your amazing work, you inspire me to continue writing, to continue making content, and to share my stories. I’ve made some amazing friends from this community this year, and I’ve learned so much. If it wasn’t for you all, I’d have no idea how to spread the word about my blog, get insight on what my readers would like to read about, or how to even blog. I truly am thankful and blessed to have you all in my life.

To my Longtime Friend

I still can’t believe I flew out of my state, on my own, for the first time to visit you! If it wasn’t for my trip to visit you, I wouldn’t have seen how much I adore traveling. It was so weird being out of my comfort zone and meeting you in person after being friends for four years, but I really am happy I was able to explore a new place, be able to find love in traveling, and meet you! Maybe I’ll plan a trip to visit you in Washington state!

To my Magician Friend

Honestly…I would never have thought a random message to you would turn to me meeting you in person for two minutes to me gaining an amazing best friend. If anyone deserves praise, high-fives, and just complete gushing, it’s you. I truly do not deserve you. You have been so supportive, so patient with me, and have seen me at both my best and my worst. Thank you for being the best friend I could have ever asked for. I’m sorry if I’ve been a terrible friend to you, but I thank you for being so supportive and being there for me when no one else was.

To The Assassin

I want to thank you for teaching me patience. Honestly, patience is the one thing I struggle with, and when we were dating, you were able to show me that I need to work on being patience. I also want to thank you for showing me that I deserve better. You weren’t able to handle me at my worst, you couldn’t give me what I wanted, and you weren’t very kind to me in the end of our…relationship? Dating? Whatever it was, it ended awful, but I would be lying if I said I don’t miss you. I miss our friendship, I miss our time when we’d watch movies, hang out, and just talk about our days. Thank you for not only showing me patience, but for showing me that I can’t open my heart so easily to anyone. I don’t want you thinking this is just me throwing you under the bus. Although we had our rough spots, I still care about you; you will forever be someone special to me.

To The Off Worlder

It’s kind of weird adding you on this list, since I’ve only known you for over a month? However, you did shape me in the end of 2018. Thank you for showing me that I can’t be too kind because if I do, I can be taken advantage of. I know I say I’m too caring for my own good, but you really showed me I can’t let my kindness take over because it could hurt me in the end, so for that, I thank you.

To my Former Best Friends

I know that sounds so weird, but let me explain! One is still my best friend, we just…don’t speak as much as we used to. Another one…I don’t know what happened to this day. To my former best friend, I’m not sure what happened, why you just disappeared from my life, but I miss you. I hope you’re doing okay, and I truly thank you for being there for me in 2016, 2017, and a little bit of 2018, and gave me the hope I needed. Maybe one day you'll reach out, and I can’t wait for that day. To my other best friend: I know we don’t speak a lot, but I know you’re really busy with your life. I’m so happy you found someone who loves you the way you deserved to be love, and always know we can go months, or years, without talking to each other, but I’ll always be here for you.

To my Favorite (and only) Nephew

I know you’ll probably never read this since you’re literally a baby, but you have truly changed me as a person this year. I’m so glad you exist because in a way, I see you as my baby. The love I have for you has helped me be a better person, be more kind and happy towards other children, and my love for you is unconditional. I’m so lucky and blessed to be your aunt, and I will always love you.

To the Woman I Speak to Every Week

When I first met you in September, I was a mess. I was scared to talk to a professional about my problem. I thought you’d judge me, look down at me like others have, and I know I pay you to speak to me, but…thank you so much. You have made me challenge my dark thoughts, helped me control my emotions, never judged me for my actions, and just want to see me succeed. It’s only been three months, but if it wasn’t for you, I’d probably be suffering with mental health and ruining every friendship or relationship that enters my life. I am so blessed I’m able to see you, and I thank you for never giving up on me when I give up on myself.

To The Fire Bandit

Goodness, this one is the hardest to type. Just thinking about the words I want to type brings me to tears. It’s been almost three years since things between you and me ended, and honestly, I never thought I’d hear from you again. I know we only spoke for a few days, but…thank you. I know you’ll never read this, but I want to thank you for everything. I told you already, but all the pain, I forgive you; I will always forgive you. I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through since our relationship faded, but because of it, it made you stronger. You’re not the same Bandit I knew when we were together, but…I will always have love for you. Whether we find other people, end up alone, or maybe we’re meant to be, I will always love you. I don’t know if you hate me, or want nothing to do with me, but please know you were the one person that truly made me feel beautiful, made me happy, and were the healthiest relationship I ever had. Thank you for everything.

I didn’t think this would be so difficult to type, yet here we are. At the end of the day, these people shaped me to be who I am right now. I’ve learned true love, patience, not being used, showing more empathy, and just being the best me I can be. Thank you so much for reading, and look forward tomorrow, or later today, for another blog post!