Loving Yourself Through the Struggles: Chapter 5, Maria's Story

Hello readers! It's the last Monday of February, meaning today is the end of my series, "Loving Yourself Through the Struggles". If you haven't read last week's chapter, you can check out out here! Before we start the final chapter, I want to once again thank all the amazing guest bloggers, Kayla, Madi, Christina, Charlotte, and Maria, for taking part in my first ever series and sharing their empowering stories. 

With that all said, lets head into the final chapter, or segment, of "Loving Yourself Through the Struggles". For the last chapter, I have not only a great blogger, but someone I definitely consider a friend: Maria! If you're unaware, Maria is a blogger who touches on subjects about love, relationships, and self-confidence. She is definitely someone I recommend checking out! If you want to see more about her, you can find her on her blog, "Myselfwise", Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and Facebook! Alright, take it away Maria!

 

While I was thinking about what particular insecurity I wanted to mention, it dawned on me that I have yet to completely overcome any of them. So my initial plan of sharing a short and sweet success story came to an abrupt halt.

After an embarrassingly long amount of pondering, it finally came to me that I should talk about the mother of all insecurities in my book, the fear of failure. I feel like learning to cope with my insecurity of not being able to reach a goal or finish a task successfully has been a long journey, one that has led me to finally reach a place in my life where I feel more inspired and motivated to go after the things I want.

Before I knew what fear of failure was, I was a happy, confident kid and I approached everything with a very simple and effective method: know what you want, think of what you should do to get it and take action. There was no timetable, no anxiety, no doubt and absolutely no time for regrets.

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The trigger point for me was after I had devoted approximately three whole years preparing for my university entry exams (and I had always been a straight A + praise kind of student), only to find out that I hadn’t scored high in more than half of my school subjects. I remember I was crushed but I was even more angry. What I didn’t realize was that underneath all this anger and hurt, I was injected with the fear of failure which subconsciously deterred me from actually going after life opportunities for a very long time after that.

The pivot point  


Despite of not putting my best efforts into it, I was finally close to graduating university and getting my degree in Computer Science but I still wasn’t feeling fulfilled or content with my life. Even when my mother got sick with breast cancer for the second time in her life, I was continuing the same pattern of being super excited for a new goal one day, just to give up in the middle of achieving it. Of course I was attributing it to my fickle character but deep down I knew that I was lying to myself. When my mum beat cancer and was healthy again, it gave me a whole new perspective and I decided that I would overcome this insecurity and redefine myself. In the very likely case that I get sick by it too someday, I won’t have regrets over not acting towards my dreams, no matter how crazy impossible they seem at first.

Fast forward 3 years

  • I remember being insecure about my body image and feeling guilty over missing a day at the gym. Now I no longer starve myself to fit in some model’s body type and I just do my best to improve what I was naturally given.
  • I can barely remember the time when I broke down crying to my boyfriend about not landing a job after going to countless of interviews. I have been working full-time in an amazing company as a software consultant for over two years now and I am so proud of myself! I used to think that I could never compete with men in this industry but to my surprise I got three certificates along with a raise in my salary twice, every Christmas since I got hired.
  • I used to envy all of those successful YouTubers that buy large houses and now I have signed my own contract and I am officially a house owner. It’s not finished yet but we’ll get there one step at a time.
  • I no longer believe I am not capable of creating something from scratch and I have my own blog to show for it!
  • All I need to know in order to be happy is that I am working towards my goals even if that means that I am constantly asking around for advice or help with something.
 Every single step matters and should give you the satisfaction of a small victory.

Every single step matters and should give you the satisfaction of a small victory.

If there’s something you should take away from reading my journey is this:

  1. Your insecurities block you from seeing your true potential! You think that trying for something is pointless and that even if you succeed the reward won’t be that important. I am here to tell you that you have absolutely no idea of what can happen if you don’t quit trying!
  2. You are able to change! No matter how many insecurities you have, you can reverse the damage to your self-confidence if you change the way you think about putting in the effort. You do that in order to move forward , not in order to succeed.  Every step you take towards improving yourself is already a success to be celebrated and no one can take it away from you!
  3. Being successful and reaching your goals won’t automatically eliminate your insecurities but it will put them in perspective and give them their rightful place in your life: which is at the bottom of your priorities! Once you shift your mindset you will be on the right track to making your dreams come true.

I promise!

Thank you Bianca for giving me the opportunity to speak my mind here and hopefully influence someone to do the same or make a small positive change in their lives. 

You can catch me anytime at my blog: www.myselfwise.com
Or my Twitter (@myselfwise) at https://twitter.com/myselfwise
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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Myselfwise-158281374775399/

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