Coming Clean

Has it honestly been almost a month since I last wrote here? Yikes, yeah it has, but I have a good reason! If you don't follow me on Twitter or Instagram, I did share on there I have a job now. As much as I would love to be a full-time blogger, until I get a following, and really get my blog out there, I need to get income by working elsewhere. I promise I haven't given up on blogging, I just needed to get the right flow and figure out how I can fit in blogging.

Before I start, yes, my title is from a Hilly Duff song; do not judge. When I was younger, I used to adore the rain. I would love looking at the rain pour hard, look at the lightening brighten the clouds, and hear the thunder roar. As I got older, I realized the rain affects my mood, and not in a good way. When it rains, the darkness brings me to a sad place. My emotions tend to be the worse, and my mental health hits when it rains. I haven't really looked into why I feel the way I do when it rains, but it's just something that happens.

Last weekend, I can't lie, it was pretty rough on me. I don't want to get too into details (since the person isn't a blogger, but someone that reads my work from time to time), but this person and I had a really...bad argument. From that, and hearing their point of view, I realize that although I've grown and bettered myself a lot, there's a lot of growing I still need to do. Progress and grown isn't a one time thing, and once it happens, you're done. I'd like to think...personal growth is like leveling a Pokemon.

I know, it sounds weird, but hear me out. The highest level you can reach for a Pokemon is level 100. You may think once a Pokemon reaches level 100, they're done, they're perfect, there's nothing else to do; however, that's far from it. After a Pokemon reaches level 100, they can still better their battling stats. Yes, my explanation is weird, but I hope that makes sense. The point is, as we grow older, we can still learn, improve, and better ourselves. I'm constantly learning about myself, learning what I can do to better myself, and ways to improve and grow personally. This person I had an issue with means so much to me, and I never want to lose what we have because of something I've been doing wrong.

Almost hitting 27, I still have a long's way to go to better myself. I really put myself down by this experience, and the rain certainly didn't help, but I won't let the rain, the negative thoughts, or anything, bring me down. I can still grow, I can still better myself, I'm not a failure. Last night, I started this new show (not technically "new" since it's on it's second season right now, but new for me) and one character said this line that really made me think about myself. If I remembered the quote, I would have added it word for word, but I sadly don't. To summarize it, however, he basically states that yesterday is yesterday, today is today.

I have to keep moving forward. Letting problems from the past get to me and focus on it won't improve me. For here on, I want to learn, grown, improve, and better myself. My message to you, the reader is that it's okay to make mistakes. It's okay for someone you care about to tell you something you've been doing that been hurting them. Don't dwell, don't go in that bad head space and focus on the bad. It just means that the person cares about you and wants to see you be the best person you can be! I believe in you, I want to see you all grow and become the best you can be. Don't let the bad get to you, you're not a bad person.

Of course as I type that last paragraph, the sun starts to pop out and beam! That's probably a good sign, right? As always, thank you so much for reading, commenting, sharing, and subscribing!